Video Calls With Family: A Calm Beginner's Guide

Seeing a face makes a call feel like a visit. Video calling is easier than it looks once the first call is behind you.

What a video call is

Videotelephony is the two-way sending and receiving of sound and moving pictures between people in different places, in real time. In everyday terms: a phone call where you can see each other. It works on smartphones, tablets and computers, and it uses your internet connection rather than call minutes.

What you need

• A phone, tablet or computer with a camera and microphone. Nearly all modern ones have both.
• An internet connection. Home Wi-Fi is best, because long calls on mobile data can use up an allowance.
• The same app as the person you are calling. Ask your family which one they use and install that; there is no need to have several.

Set up with a helper the first time

Ask a relative, a neighbour or a volunteer at a digital help session to sit with you for the first call. Write the steps on a card in your own words, in the order you do them, and keep the card near the device. After three or four calls you will not need it.

Making the picture and sound pleasant

1. Face the light. Sit with a window or lamp in front of you, not behind, or you will appear as a shadow.
2. Prop the device up. Lean a tablet against books at eye level so your arms do not tire and the other person is not looking up at your chin.
3. Quieten the room. Turn off the television and radio.
4. Wear your hearing aids and glasses if you use them. Headphones can make voices much clearer.
5. Charge first or keep the charger plugged in.

The buttons you will actually use

• Microphone. A line through the microphone picture means the others cannot hear you. Tap it to turn sound back on.
• Camera. A line through the camera picture means they cannot see you.
• Red button. Ends the call.
• Turn-around arrows. Switches to the camera on the back, handy for showing the garden.

Making calls a habit

A fixed time works better than "sometime soon". A short call every Sunday afternoon gives everyone something to look forward to. Have something to show: a photograph, the dog, what you are cooking. Grandchildren often prefer doing something together, such as reading a story aloud, to being asked how school is.

When it goes wrong

Frozen pictures and echoing voices happen to everyone. Hang up and call again; that cures most problems. If the picture keeps breaking up, move closer to the Wi-Fi box or turn your camera off for a while and carry on with sound only.

Staying safe

Only answer video calls from people you know. If a stranger calls, or someone you met online asks for money or for anything private during a call, end the call and tell a family member. Never read out bank details or sign-in codes on a call.

If you are not sure a caller is who they say they are, hang up and ring the person back on the number you already have for them.

Written by Winifred Castellan · last checked 2026-11-12